I awoke and found myself

entombed amongst the corruption

of the sons of Adam.

I found no hope in myself

as I kicked, fighting and crying

aloud amidst the graves.

No help has yet come for me.

One man said I was “made for this-“

to warn the sons of men.

I am to expect fire

on the day I descend alone

to the mouth of hades.

I expect no redeemer-

I was not created for such-

but for Lamentation.

My god is Moloch.

Are The Damned Willing?

All things find their ultimate redemption in Christ; and nothing after the resurrection will be less than he intended it’s nature to be.

Was not Adam, though unconfirmed in Grace, constituted in the fullness of his nature? Was he not without corruption? Was his nature not perfectly integral?

Yet look at what befell him. An integral nature is no remedy against a perversion of the will. Simply because man was in a state of natural perfection, and even in the friendship of God, this was no guarantee he would not turn against God.

So to assert that in the resurrection, the damned will have the same natural perfection as Adam before the fall, this neither necessitates their beatitude and vision of God, nor does it prevent their perversion of their will.

Therefore it is totally orthodox to say that the damned, in the resurrection will have the perfection of nature God intended for them. But they will not be deified to that state beyond nature which is reserved for the elect. As such, there is nothing preventing them from having that same perversity of will that is habitually disobedient.

Simultaneously, it may be that the damned do have the gnomic will healed, and in their judgment they acknowledge the truth of God’s evaluation of their lives.

The question then would be-are the damned willing exiles conforming their existence to a divine decree, or are they unwilling prisoners resentfully being punished?

Part of the problem here is that God does not rescind his gifts. He has gifted men with the good of being, and for him to unmake them would be to change his mind- yet he does not change and therefore their existence is good.

But what kind of goodness consists in an existence of perpetually unbearable torment? Would the damned rather exist with their torment or be annihilated?

I would say the only way to make sense of the subjective experience of the damned is to suggest they are willing exiles accepting the just judgment for their sin- where they see their own existence as a condition wherein God is magnified and they would rather conform to the truth than not.

When a reprobate person sees the truth of their life, does not shame demand self-inflicted punishment? How many times in our own lives has the gracious forgiveness of another been rather unbearable and we would rather cry out- “Please just punish me!”?

Could this not be the condition of those great sinners who conform their will to the truth of their lives and the guilt- the eternal guilt- of their condition? For guilt must be eternal if it is not atoned, for how else can the standing of a sinful man before Christ be changed when that man did not benefit from his passion?

Therefore- it is not that damnation is tolerable- but it is a perceptible good. It is not that it is painless- but it is admitted as necessary. It is not that it will end- but it is resigned into.

And the worst- the ultimate- suffering comes from the internal sundering of two truths- That I deserve this, yet I was not created for this. That I must go into exile, but I was made for home. That I am an enemy who must admit defeat, and yet was called first to be a son, which I rejected.